Westwater
Back in my early gonzo kayaking daze, my pard and I were always looking for some new adventure, legal or otherwise. Westwater had long ago become a "permit river". That means you MUST have a government permit to run Westwater. No permit? No run.
Well, permits have always been a thorn in my side. I don't like permits. So one day I suggested to my kayaking pard that we run Westwater without a permit. Back in those days we would have been known as "pirates".
Anyway, I figured all we had to do was find some local dirt bag to be our enabler and we'd be good to go. We had to drive around the area for awhile before we find just the right dirt bag. He was some old guy who lived on the edge of the law both figuratively and quite literally as well. I had brought along a lot of extra REAL beer, not the 3.2 canned joke Utah called beer. I figured REAL beer would be a better bribe than money.
Anyway, this reprobate was ALL IN on our idea. As with a lot of Utahans, he hated the feds and would do anything he could to flaunt their laws. He also happened to know exactly how to sneak Westwater. He knew a secret put in and an equally secret take out. So, it was going to be EZPZ for us to do a pirate run on Westwater.
The old geezer loaded us in his rickety, rusted pickup and bounced some obscure, dusty two tracks to get us to the put in well above the official Westwater launch site.
We took off in our kayaks and were settling into a comfortable pace when we passed the BLM launch site. Sure enough, there was a BLM River Ranger standing on the bank. As soon as that Barney Fife spotted us he started yelling and waving his arms and appeared to be really excited. Next thing we knew he jumped in a pre-rigged oar raft and began CHASING us!! Seriously.
Well, this is something we hadn't expected. That meant we had to accelerate and escape this deranged ranger. He was a really GOOD oarsman and knew every nuance of the river's current. At times it looked like he was actually gaining on us. SO we paddled harder and we also knew that meant we'd have to run everything without scouting or even brief contemplation.
Even though Westwater isn't particularly dangerous it DOES have some spots that can cause trouble such as Skull and Room of Doom. Luckily, I knew Westwater pretty good and figured we'd take our chances and blow through Skull and lose the guy.
Well, he was a helluva rafter and we'd look back there there he'd be rowing like a maniac. We figured he would simply HAVE to run out of steam so we paddled even harder and he finally began to fade.
Luckily, we got out of sight around a bend in the river just before our stealth take out. We quickly paddled ashore, leaped out of our kayaks and hid them in the vegetation. The old geezer was waiting for us with his truck out of sight.
We watched as the BLM ranger blew past in his raft and we breathed a sigh of relief. Whew, what a RUN!
The old geezer had really already had a heyday swilling REAL beer so we told him he needed to sober up before driving us back to our vehicle. He took our advice and promptly passed out under a Utah cottonwood tree. We were pretty tuckered, too, so we didn't mind. Besides, we figured the longer we waited the clearer the coast would be.
By and by in a couple of hours the old guy woke up and grabbed another beer and grunted, "Let's go."
It didn't take long to get back to our car, tie down the boats and skeedaddle out of there.
All in all it was another fun adventure.
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